Five Heart Felt Truths for Women Who Want More.
What would be possible if you lived these truths fully?
Full disclosure. This letter is written from a different “place”. Not a physical place, rather, a place within me. My heart has been feeling strongly, and I’m listening.
“What does my heart really want to say?”
This letter is it. From my heart to yours.
This heart energy might be fierce because I turned 50 this year, or because I am inching into perimenopause. Maybe it’s because I’m feeling all the pressures of living in a patriarchal society. I don’t know.
Likely it’s a combination of it all. So here goes, some heart energy and love and truths for you. xo
Truth #1: It’s okay to want to make (more/a lot of) money.
I’ve lived a life of privilege, I know. At ten, my family moved to Kolkata, India (then Calcutta). My parents were volunteers with a community development organization for three years that served the less privileged.
You may know Kolkata as the place where Mother Teresa lived and served the poor. From then on I was acutely aware that my life, even with parents who were volunteering theirs was vastly different than most.
Awareness of my privilege has caused me to restrain desire for money and wealth. Because to “want” accentuates privilege. Is this true? asks my heart.
It dawned on me that at 50, it would likely be okay to start desiring money.
I noticed that my desire wasn’t for unlimited amounts, but “enough” to live my life and dreams.
I also noticed that my desire was lockstep with an ever present desire to be generous and contribute to organizations and causes that matter deeply to me. To be an ally for what matters.
And I noticed for 50 years, I’ve never been a money hungry, self-absorbed, greedy bitch uncaring of everyone else’s needs. So why think that might happen now?
Can you be much more okay with making money — if that’s what you want — knowing your desire will ripple out goodness in all the ways?
Truth #2: It’s okay to prioritize your health.
When I say “prioritize” I mean it’s okay to go ALL OUT on making your health the Most Important Thing.
Not simply health in your body, but also your heart, spirit and that oh-so-precious mind of yours. All of you.
Do you have a part of you that sometimes feels guilty about taking a little time for a long walk? Or pauses before splurging on a new pair of running shoes? Or decides your workout shorts can last a while longer.
What the heck????
A truth I hold about you is you’re much more able to put your own needs last and are skilled at putting everyone else first. Let’s change this.
Here is something else I know: your body is the only part of you that is always in the present moment. Always. It’s the beautiful, powerful vehicle that gets you from A to B every single moment of the day. It’s the home of your heart, your mind, your spirit.
Brave One, do whatever you need to do to support yourself — pull out all the stops — get a trainer, have the organic food you want shipped in. Make it as easy or as fun as you can. Get yourself that workout outfit that’s going to make you feel awesome. Love that sweet body of yours fiercely.
We need your body to be healthy and whole. You’re here on this planet for a reason so be clear on the importance of prioritizing your health.
Truth #3: It’s okay to rest. And take a very, very long nap.
I wonder… do you think that should you rest, you’ll slow down so much that you won’t find the motivation to get back to work?
Not to worry, that is unlikely to happen.
And yeah, an insanely long nap might make it hard to go back to sleep tonight, but what if that’s okay? And what if you took a whole week just to nap and sleep and go slow?
If rest is truly our undoing we’ve got bigger challenges.
It may feel impossible to take a whole week off to sleep or nap. It’s just that “Rest” is not Productivity’s Evil Twin. “Rest” is Productivity’s Long Lost Sister that was given up for adoption long ago. They desperately want to reunite.
We simply can’t afford to have you burning out and believing that it’s all on your shoulders to do The Thing. Taking a break is exactly right.
Truth #4: It’s okay say to fuck and/or what you’re really thinking and feeling.
I grew up very churched. It’s taken me a long time to learn to say “bad” words. Saying the word “fuck” is a practice — in doing so I am claiming my inherent goodness.
I’m not on this planet to be rude or offend, however, I also know that I have less skill in saying what I’m really thinking, and have learned to filter much of my opinion and perspective.
In fact, I think we’d all be much more “okay” if we did swear and share things we’re thinking and feeling. I think our resentment would dial way down.
I think our jaws would be less clenched, and shoulders wouldn’t be so tight. We might unclench our glutes and relax our bellies (always sucking in those poor bellies).
We need to find safe, constructive ways of expressing ourselves more fully. And yeah, we might hear ourselves say things we feel really uncomfortable hearing but what if that was okay?
We need you to bring your fullest truths forward. We need to know much more of what you’re thinking and feeling. Please. Don’t hold back.
Truth #5: It’s okay if all of these suggestions feel really awkward or uncomfortable and juicy and good all at the same time. We’re not used to wanting what we want.
If you’re feeling uncomfortable that’s okay.
Do you think we are skillful in our “wanting”? Do you notice any worry or voices of restraint that suggest that this is all a bad idea?
As women, we’re used to restraining and holding back and sucking everything in. So it’s natural and normal to feel into these edges if we are to relax out of these ways.
In summary — if nothing else in this letter resonates, what I want you to know is this:
It’s good and right (and much more than okay) that you flourish in any and every way that you decide to. Because it’s unlikely you’re going to do it at anyone’s expense. And you’re not going to become a really mean and evil person.
In fact, for you to be your fullest expression of You, it’s a prerequisite.
This might be something you’ve been aching for.
It might be something mentioned above.
Can you practice “wanting” — with all her discomfort — and ALSO see the generous, caring, loving, compassionate human that you are?
I know you’re here to do good and important things on this earth. And I know you’re needed to do those good things. To make this planet a better place. To show deep kindness to your fellow human beings. To create change and make this world a better place.
Can you practice letting both those things be true together?
I’m in the practice too. Leaning into the learning isn’t always easy. But if you lean in, I’ll be there for you to lean up against.
On behalf of your most expanded life and Self do tell me what you’re wanting, and I’ll hold that truth in my heart too.
If you’d like to receive more #truthbombs and practical ways to be redefine success on behalf of making real a new and more fulfilling agenda happen, you can sign up here to receive my weekly letter: www.theenergyoasis.com/the-tuesday-letter