Take the First Next Step
How to start redefining success from where you are now
Success is not a destination, it’s a journey
~ Zig Ziglar
I used to believe big or important commitments needed big energy.
A belief like this can often get in the way of change, because it’s actually not true. You can take a single step and you’re already in motion.
Redefining success is a journey, not the grand arrival in some future that never arrives. Ready?
How and where to start
1) Invite a journey mindset.
This is meaningful for a few reasons.
First, it acknowledges that what got you here is worth honoring.
Second, it invites us to pace ourselves. We don’t need to run or race or hustle ourselves off to some far out distant land of goal-fully-accomplished, rather, it simply matters that we take the next step at our pace today.
Finally, it helps us become mindful of enjoying the journey, and not succumbing to a belief that our joy or happiness is contingent upon us arriving somewhere in the future.
Success is available here and now.
2) Name what feels good right now and what doesn’t.
Part of being on a journey means appreciating what’s exactly right in this moment and season of your life. Perhaps you are loving the connection you have with your teenage son. Or you’re feeling grateful for your neighborhood community. Maybe you love that you can now work from home.
Name what is good. It’s like acknowledging the foundation you’re standing upon.
Next, while it can be tempting to skip over the next part, don’t.
Take some time to name what isn’t good. Or what feels hard. Maybe you notice the inertia that is in your body, making movement a challenge. Or perhaps your slate of work projects feel like a grind. Is there despair when you look at the so called “leaders” in your midst?
The parts of our life that don’t feel good at all, even if we can’t quite name why hold tremendous energy for change. Our anger, frustration, resentment, inertia, sadness, while being difficult to experience in the body, hold clues to what and where we are seeking a re-definition of success.
And, in honoring our emotional experience, we begin to claim success on the inside.
Out tangible external expressions of success are important, and it also matters that we have an inner wellspring of joy and contentment!
3) Based on the feelings above, identify an area you’d like to re-define and why it matters.
This isn’t a goal setting practice in disguise, I promise.
It’s about holding up the magnifying class to a part of your experience that’s longing to shift. The discomfort holds clues.
The aim here is to develop some intimacy with what’s going on and why it matters to make a change. Why are you uncomfortable? Is there an unmet need? Or is one of your values not being upheld?
Zero in on that part of your life you’d prefer to avoid, and let your inner world experience inform you.
In this step we really awaken the energy that we need to make a shift. And we “see” ourselves more fully.
4) Name what you need to create success
To create success, you need to become fluent in the language of your own needs. All humans have needs, and learning your unique needs helps you become skillful in creating your newly defined success.
How do you know what you need?
All those uncomfortable feels you’ve named above, tell you that you have needs that are being met, pointing to what’s missing. There is a list of feelings and needs that we all have, at this site.
When I first came across this list over ten years ago, I was surprised just how many needs a person has. And I was even more surprised to learn that the more I work at meeting my needs, the more I feel successful.
Start where you are to re-define success
Become intimate with your own experience. Just a slice of it.
Anchor in a start-with-self approach, and developing fluency with what you need, taking action based on what you know to be true about you.
Re-defining success is a practice.
What would shift, if you settled into the practice of redefining success?
Share in the comments! I’d love to know.
